MP3 Matthew Herbert - These Branded Waters

The other day, I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a snack and something cold to drink. When I got to the refrigerators to grab my drink, I was flabbergasted by the number of choices for water alone. There were sweet 'n' fruity drinks in every color. Most of them looked too syrupy for my taste, so I went for a compromise: Glacéau's Vitamin Water?a mildly flavored water, most of whose flavors also purport to impart some virtue or physical energy. I was just like, "UGH. Gimme some damn ass water that looks neat." I picked up the gayest looking one?a silvery pink number called "Formula 50."

As I walked toward work, I opened the bottle, took a swig, and began perusing the various portions of the back of the label. Here's what I read:

"50 cent's new album is bound to go platinum. So Formula 50 decided to go platinum too. Not to be outdone, we are happy to announce the release of our own album, "Hydrate or Die Tryin'." All we need is one little shout out at the MTV Video Music Awards. Suckaz be movin' out the way at them beverage conferences. Plus, our drink has the nutrients you need to fuel you through your day. That's just how we roll here in Queens."

I was like, Hell to the no. As if 50 Cent is the model of health, with his embarrassingly thick and awkward mid-section, his unnaturally large biceps and fatty pectorals (and fatty wallet, no doubt!). As if 50 Cent would ever be caught dead drinking something that some faggot could describe as "silvery pink." Why the hell is it necessary to put a celebrity's name on something to make it sell? It's some goddamn water with a little grape flavoring! After a little research, it turns out that Glacéau is maybe one of the more responsible and healthy health drinks ("enhanced water," they call it). And the tie-in with 50 is that he's from Whitestone, the Queens neighborhood that's home to the Glacéau/Energy Brands headquarters.

Luckily, I'm not alone in my concerns about hypocrisy in food production and marketing in the West. Matthew Herbert is set to release the product of two years of research and six months of recording. Plat du Jour investigates and criticizes the before- and afterlife of food and its consumers outside of the relatively simple factor of taste alone. Like on his previous politically-charged Big Band album, Goodbye Swingtime, Herbert seeks to de-literalize critical content in music by absorbing it into the sonic context. Here tracks are composed of samples from "a grain of sugar, 30,000 chickens, a salmon farm, the sewers below London and water." The palette (and palate) is rich with nonverbal references to waste, coporatism and commercialism, the use of pesticides, maltreatment of animals, the rise in obesity, the decrease in nutrional value.

Matthew Herbert does so much homework to feed his musical ventures. He's insightful, vociferous, and disciplined. He's even recently committed to forgoing airline flights for the simple fact that he cannot in good faith criticize apples flown in from New Zealand to England year-round while he himself is still taking flights every weekend for his own work. The great thing is that to enjoy and understand his albums to their fullest and deepest, you have to do a little homework too. He's a meticulous documenter of the sources and stories behind the making of each song. Sounds that might be mistaken for simple ambient fluff actually have instrinsic interrelating significance. Read up. Slim down.

You can listen to more samples free and/or buy the entire album in MP3 or lossless AAC for just £5 right here.


Below is Matthew Herbert's documentation for "These Branded Waters":

THESE BRANDED WATERS
studio recordings are of different bottled waters:

dasani: water magnesium sulphate, potassium chloride, salt, ozone. (picked up on plane from canada). owned by coca cola.
thames water tap water.
highland spring (owned by a consortium based in lichtenstein)
evian (bought at sainsburys local) distributed by coca cola in north america
san pelllegrino [sic] in glass bottle (found in fridge) owned by nestle
perrier owned by nestle
vittel owned by nestle
perfectly clear, red apple flavour 'sugar free': spring water, citric
acid, flavourings, sweetener (aspartame), preservatives (potassium
sorbate, sodium benzoate) contains a source of phenylalaine
aqua pura 2 litre official bottled water of jaguar uk athletics great britain athletics team

my recent french water bottle said recently: 'your hydration partner'
www.bottledwaterweb.com has more details about these waters and their corporate owners

in india, 69 per cent of the people do not have access to sanitary services
the track is 182 bpm because it takes 182,000 litres of water to make one ton of steel

sanitation coverage is 53% in bangladesh, so the track is 5'30' long
www.rainwaterharvesting.org

how about we turn off public ornamental fountains until the rest of the world has clean drinking water and sanitation?

all melodies and chords are a sample of blowing over the top of a sanpellegrino bottle and played by phil parnell, dave o'higgins, pete wraight and matthew herbert

live percussion is made from all the empty bottles plus a malvern (coca cola) water cooler for a kick drum and played by leo taylor

fight compulsory fluoride in uk tap water