I'm giving away a handy Get-Out-of-Heaven-Free card to the first person who can discern which of these three persons does not belong, and why. You may use the comments feature or e-mail me!

1. Maria Guleghina, circa Saturday afternoon's Metropolitan Opera broadcast of Nabucco.
2. Beyoncé, duetting with Josh Groban at the Oscars, in the nominated song "Believe," from The Polar Express.
3. The aforementioned "opera singer," Josh Groban.

On a similar note, be sure to czech out Sieglinde's ode to the odious Guleghina. I can't disagree with much of what she has to say, but then, the ode does lurch at the basest of human instincts while missing all the important points. How apropos, considering the subject!

Another article on classical bloggers?this time in the San Jose Mercury News. Not only that, but another mention of Trrill. Thanks, Dick! Who knew that anyone still gave a damn about opera?least of all, when it's being written about under the pretense of queer zealotry. The same tactic sure hasn't worked for liberals. In related news, I'd like to offer a belated welcome to a few new additions to the list of links on the sidebar. Beware: some of these have nothing to do with classical music or weblogs, but they all have to do with culture, and they're all tiny bridges to the same bit of gurgling pathos that I call [with a little bit of expectoration] "art."

• Bumrocks: a non-classical mp3 blog. The finest, most elegant out there. No commentary, just links to a dizzying variety of vinyl transfers from experimental to jazz to disco to house to newer, glitchier beats. Bands you forgot about and artists you've never heard of. For an electrofaggot like me, it's porn and paradise.
• Dozer: sitting between the light of day and "underground," Dozer gives you electronic things and stuff, always coupled with an evocative image.
• Emily Pothast Mannion: a Seattle-based artist, grad-student, writer. Almost my only friend in this city. We've been friends since high school in Texas, where we both found our muse and our reason for escape to the Pacific Northwest. Emily has recently written a lovely article entitled "Monopoly on Morality" in the youngish magazine Rivet. Read it, and you'll understand where we're both coming from in our thoughtful blasphemy.
• Jeremy Laing: Toronto-based fashion designer and artist friend. One half of performance outfit Virginia Puff-Paint. Up and left a corporate design position to start his own label, which he's just shown at New York Fashion week, to great acclaim. Have jodhpurs ever looked so divine?
• Latrillius Menses: a writer and friend. He probably wouldn't want me to say more than that.
• Manolo for the Men: blogging men's fashion, Manolo makes pronunciations and annunciations that combine journalism with gossip with photos… all in his very distinct, bespoke syntax.
• Oboeinsight: take a guess!
• Prima la Musica: finally, another opera blog. And none too soon. Sieglinde and I were getting a little wrecked trying to cover the entire operatic scene [the other Assolutas are always hung-over]. Sarah Noble is an avid listener of operatic recordings and excels in commentary on more recent singers [ones up at whom I, perhaps mistakenly, turn my nose]. Also don't miss Ms. Noble's offshoot blog, Antologia, a supplement of lyrics and pictures related and unrelated to her posts.
• Swound: more smart-tronica, more mp3s. Swounds rill nice!
• Terrence Koh: rabbit and man holes alike. Boing!
• Tom Meglioranza: a professional baritone with a life outside of singing. Ugh. As if!
• Will Munro: another Toronto artist freund, the receiving end of Virgina Puff-Paint, designer of fashion-punk skivvies.

I hate to keep going on about Deborah Voigt's weight loss, but… Wait, no I don't.

Voigt's first-ever Marschallin, in January. Stunning, apparently.

There had been lots of talk in opera circles about Voigt's enormous weight loss—that there was about half as much of Debbie as there used to be; that she would look phenomenal…

Well, as soon as the curtain opened, it was clear that the rumors were not exaggerated: Voigt, voluptuously stretched out on satin sheets in front of the Marschallin's bed, wearing a cream-colored negligée whose straps would casually slip from her shoulders every now and then, has indeed transformed herself into a strikingly beautiful woman.

Believe us, the pictures don't do her justice - Deborah Voigt as the Marschallin, with Kurt Rydl as Baron Ochs, in 'Der Rosenkavalier' at the Deutsche Oper Berlin.What's more—much more—Voigt's first-ever Marschallin was one of those rare, blissful (and usually unexpected) occasions where everyone present felt they had witnessed a historic night.

A little bird has tells me that there are as-yet unsubstantiated rumors that Natalie Dessay will be undergoing a third—yes, third—surgery on her vocal folds. Dag. Girl got more cuts than Trovatore. But I ain't one ta gossip, so you ain't hurrd it from me.

Update on Little(r) Debbie 2K5: Remember Tannhäuser?

Then the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade?

Well, girl's been workin' it out, f'rill. Check it:

This:

plus:

minus:

EQUALS:

At Toulouse, Feb. 7, 2005

Zang! You sure are showing those bitches at ROH. And the voice remains glorious, leaving the audience wanting much, much more:

Mais dix minutes de vrai bonheur musical, n'est-ce pas un peu chiche ? Cette voix véritablement, profondément, wagnérienne, aurait mérit? qu'on l'entende plus et mieux, dans un répertoire qu'elle sert excellemment - on aurait rêvé d'une Immolation de Brünnhilde pour notre plus grand bonheur.

The Atlanta Journal-Constitution's recent article on classical music in the blögôsphère is surprisingly thorough, covering everything from the ultra-poised and proper ArtsJournal to non-weblog treasures like Mike Richter's Opera Notes & Miscellany. And in between, a mention of Trrill:

"www.Trrill.com. With slanted opinions and reckless enthusiasms —performances, CDs, diva worship, insults hurled at other bloggers —this is among the most literate and amusing of the many, many fanatical operaphile blogs."

Insults… maybe. Hurling? Darling, the only hurling here was at a party after Manon Lescaut, where I tried to keep up with the Russians, who brought, along with their wodka, their own special concoction from the motherland. Meet "balzam."

Of course, the above is just one of many balzams. This one is quite fancy-looking. And while it gives you an idea of the motor oil consistency, it offers none of the hazardous-to-the-eye-and-hand aesthetic that comes with slapdash bottling and labeling, as on the brand I tried. Sheesh. With that stuff and the Parliaments, I'm bound to go the way of Björling and Bastianini.

Finalmente mia! OK, OK. I swear this is maybe the last post on Shikikirelli, né(e) Matthew Miller. Now that you've read about him and heard the audio, you can watch him in motion. Don't be creeped out by his physique. No, be creeped out by his gigantic mouth. And then, be a little sympathetic to his tearful exit from the audition. And then after that, hit "Rewind" and "Play," and re-live the magic again and again.

Click here to watch the video.

Looks like all those encores of "Over the Rainbow" are finally paying dividends. Much to everyone's suprise (riiiiight… ), America's operatic darling and the most famous soprano in the world, Renée Fleming, will be releasing a jazz album this spring. I know you're getting all worked up over her vocal style already. Girl, I know… I heard her here in Seattle last month, and there were more scoops than Baskin-Robbins. Hold on, though. It doesn't appear that this'll be a lamentable, ill-advised attempt at jazz by some rich girl from the nice side of the tracks. Fleming did occasional stints with a jazz trio when she was in college. In fact, she's even been quoted saying that she developed her chest tones from singing with the trio. And she's always saying in interviews that she adores Ella Fitzgerald and Sara Vaughn. Maybe she knows a thing or two. Let's hope so: the album (tentatively titled Haunted Heart… shudder), is scheduled to be released in May and will include tracks like Arthur Schwartz's "Haunted Heart," Joni Mitchell's "River," and a song by Mahler, transcribed for guitar (can I shudder again?). The album will also feature jazz pianist Fred Hersch and guitarist Bill Frisell. Worried about wiry high-note interpolations, à la the recent Kennedy Center Honors performance?

"It's intimate. I sing it an octave lower than I ever sing, as if I'm whispering in somebody's ear. It's going to be a surprise. A few people I've played it for had no idea it's me."

Shudder. EDIT: Please do not send me scat jokes.

Our silent mentor, curator of one of the first online publications about opera, he who was manhandled by security at the Met for passing out copies of his queer opera zine Parterre—La Cieca, aka James Jorden, aka J.Jo—has prepared yet another delectable treat (this time for Valentine's Day) for this month's installment of his Il Gran Teatro web broadcast. Entitled "Orgoglio di Bellezza," the web radio show presents great operatic love stories 24 hours a day. So get under the covers with someone you love or at least someone you love for now. And heck, forget the covers. Try the floor, or even better, the kitchen ["Whisky per tutti!"]. However you want it, baby… just listen to some excellent singers in excellent performances: Click here to listen.

Donizetti's L'Elisir d'Amore, as performed in 1976 at the Royal Opera House, Covent Garden. Jose Carreras is Nemorino, Yasuko Hayashi is Adina, Thomas Allen is Belcore, and Sir Geraint Evans is Dr. Dulcamara. The conductor is Sir John Pritchard.

The "Liebesnacht" from Wagner's Tristan und Isolde , as sung by Lauritz Melchior and Helen Traubel in a 1943 performance conducted by Erich Leinsdorf.

Zandonai's Francesca da Rimini , a live performance from New York in 1973, with Placido Domingo, Raina Kabaivanska and Matteo Managuerra in the leading roles. Eve Queler is the conductor.

"Vicino a te" from Andrea Chenier, with Richard Tucker and Renata Tebaldi.

Puccini's La fanciulla del West , a live radio performance from 1961, with Renata Tebaldi as Minnie, Daniele Barioni as Dick Johnson, and Giangiacomo Guelfi as Sheriff Jack Rance. Arturo Basile is the conductor.

"Pur ti miro" from Monteverdi's L'incoronazione di Poppea, sung by David Daniels and Anna Caterina Antonacci in a 1997 live performance from Munich.

Wagner's Tannh?user from the 1961 Bayreuth Festival. Wolfgang Windgassen is heard in the title role, with Victoria de los Angeles as Elisabeth and Grace Bumbry as Venus. Dietrich Fischer Dieskau is Wolfram and the Landgraf is sung by Josef Greindl. Wolfgang Sawallisch is the conductor.

"Gia nella notte densa" from Verdi's Otello, a live 1958 performance featuring Victoria de los Angeles and Mario del Monaco.

Verdi's La Traviata, featuring Anna Moffo. She is joined by Renato Cioni and Mario Sereni in this live 1964 performance from La Scala, conducted by Herbert von Karajan.

A 1969 live performance of the St. Sulpice scene from Massenet's Manon, as sung by Beverly Sills and Placido Domingo.

Click here to listen. Speaking of Valentine's Day, how do we feel about Trrill's tasty new design? Nothing inspires quite like Katherina Cavalieri. Don't Ebersole's faces make the best avatars?

Success!

To prove a point, I have procured an mp3 of Matthew Miller's American Idol audition! Now you can experience the sound without the picture and understand why everyone is so mystified. - Download Matthew Miller's audition.
   MP3 [128 kbps] | 1.6 MB Listen to the speaking, the singing, and the gender dysphoria! I recommend Ponselle as reparative therapy… for you, I mean. As for Matthew, well… are there any Porporas in the house? EDIT: Article in the Fresno Bee about Matthew Miller! He lives here in Seattle and works at Starbucks! Oh, snap! EDIT 2: Word up to the reader who found Trrill by using MSN's new search engine to look for the terms "American Idol Is it Matthew or Martha?"

OMG. Did anyone see the most recent episode of American Idol? It was mostly a snore, but one auditioner caught my attention. Not for his talent or presence, but because of his relevance to last week's posts. As soon as Matthew Miller walks in and speaks to judges Simon, Paula, Brandy, and Randy, my mouth just falls open. In the most effeminate voice I've ever heard from a man [he's twenty years old, I believe], he tells the judges that he loves to sing and is in love with Kelly Clarkson. He then proceeds to sing a Kelly Clarkson song, in the original female octave. It's not falsetto at all. It's full-throated belting with what sounds like the voice of a child… but much bigger and louder. What's more astonishing is that the guy is at least 6'4", with grossly disproportionately long legs and arms (I'm dying to find a full-length photo or video… anyone?). He's got no hint of facial hair. He's a little soft and pudgy, but has a pretty thick torso, and his facial features are decidedly those of a young adolescent. Does any of this sound familiar?

Diner Bitch said:

Next is Matthew Miller, who looks like a boy, but sounds like Kelly Clarkson. He sings (of course) "Before Your Love" and Simon looks bewildered. Way, way bewildered. Paula is jealous and Randy asks if anyone ever told this? person he sounds like a woman. And they have—a skinny black woman, in fact. Simon feels that Matthew needs to figure out if he?s Matthew or Martha before they all vote no. And before you all tell me I'm being mean, even Brandy was confused by Matthew?s gender, so don?t start.

I am absolutely convinced that what we witnessed was a modern, honest-to-gourd castrato. If not a surgical one, then maybe an endocrinological one. At the very least, he was a sopranist of some kind. What, what? Endocrinological, surgical, sopranist, falsetto? I'm sure that with all the reading over the past week, things have gotten a little mixed up. First things first: to put singers and their voice parts into perspective, I suggest visiting Andreas Kopp's Male Soprano Page. He provides exhaustive lists and discographies for: "adult male singers singing in the soprano range," "singers of the past with unusual high voices, natural altos," and "high countertenors." I've tried to distill it further in the diagram below. The terminology is pretty clear, but some names include portions of the other groups. The real confusion is over the term countertenor, which was originally used to refer to males with extremely high voices, but have no abnormal endocrinological or testicular condition. Also referred to as the haute-contre and the tenor altino, the voice is a natural male alto that does not employ falsetto, per se. As the male alto falsettists became popular in this century, they also took on the term countertenor. Now it tends to refer almost exclusively to male falsettists singing in a lower female range [like David Daniels]. This should not be confused with someone like Aris Cristofellis, a male falsettist sopranist, who is unfortunately referred to as a countertenor on this fan page. At this point, things get terribly nebulous, and there are often arguments over usage and technicalities that go beyond "correct" or "incorrect." The fact is that mis-use and overlapping make it difficult to label some singers. But here's how I see it:

Whatever. Anyway, Seattle Opera just announced its 2005-2006 season. Remember when good singers got at least as many performances as the bad ones?